The Contract
So I got an email 2 days ago – nothing weird, dark or sinister – but something that has prompted me to write to you guys again. Remember a few week backs, how I was complaining about the fact that I found myself in a situation where I needed to ask for money – and how it disturbed me? Well, the email told me that there was a donation that had been secured that would pay me monthly until the end of the year. And for all the other God-fearing peeps in the house, give me a “Hallelujah!”
Now, in all honesty, I’m sure there are some of you who spend this amount on your petrol in a month alone, but when you take a pittance and add it to another pittance, it turns out to be substantially more than you started with, so I simply receive all gifts with gratitude and trust that the One who called me on this Journey is providing just as He said He would. So what’s the reason for me writing to you?
I must sign a contract for the people who control money to actually release it. That’s normal, isn’t it – why the fuss? Well the thing is that I’m not normal, and the path I walk is not normal, so when I find normality along the Way, it disturbs me – especially when it requires me to make some contractual promise that I am committed enough to the Path to be “worth” the money. I mean, did I need “The Contract” to pack my rucksack and head off into impoverished rural Africa for 5 years? Did I need “The Contract” to live there in freakin mudhuts, so that I could get a deeper understanding of Her culture? Did I need “The Contract” to quit my business so that I could dedicate my life to this path? Did I need “The Contract” to grow my friendship with two streetkids in a squatter camp, before starting a streetkid soccer project with them that has kept me busier than a whore in Thailand? Do I honestly need to sign a freakin’ contract to ‘prove’ my worth? But that’s not the point of today’s blog post – I’m just being an arse coz I feel a bit of wounded prided stirring up some emotions
But here’s the thing…
“The Contract” requires me to do something that I couldn’t give a rat’s arse about, and for which I am not in the least bit motivated, since I don’t believe in it; it asks me to be overall sport’s director for netball and volleyball – over and above the Singcono Masisonke Soccer Project – leading people who, quite honestly I do not trust to be here for the next two years, and who would definitely leave in a heartbeat if we stopped paying them, coz that’s how little heart they have. I couldn’t be bothered, and that’s the part that gets me. You see, I’m engaged to be married to a beautiful woman – and that requires money. I also foresee myself being in Johannesburg for another 2 years before my leadership are sufficiently equipped to take over, and that costs money. And I also would like to get back into the habit of playing golf every week, and that costs money…and that’s the power of “The Contract” – it always has a way to satisfy you now, robbing your soul in the process. I’m living on a monthly pittance and “The Contract” would almost double my takings, and that’s significant for me – but am I willing to lose a piece of my soul to gain a bite more out of my time on earth? That’s a shite question to face; I believe that most people get sucked in without ever pondering it; and I never thought – rather naively – that I’d be here facing it myself. I thought I’d always be the guy who’d look at such capitalist junk and immediately turn his back. But I didn’t. I pondered it for 2 days.
Now obviously I rejected what I did not believe in, and feel confident that the process will still go through because I love the people I am in partnership with; believe that they love me in return, and trust them completely – but the point I’m trying to make is not about the people who wish to bless me, but it’s about me and the struggle I find within my depths; how I was pondering selling my soul, for two days. And I feel pretty confident that I’m not the only one. Do you feel that in your place of work, that your soul is nourished and filled with joy, or do you feel that you were called to sacrifice some of that for the sake of money, security etc? What would your and my own life look like, if we could truly live it according to the deeper yearnings of our heart, without having to sell parts of our inner beings in order to satisfy capitalist requirements? What would the world then look like?
If your life were a movie, where your daily needs were taken care of and all you needed to figure out was a story, what would you do with your time? Would you still be where you are today?
I wish you strength and honor, as you continue to shake off the shackles that bind you, and live in a manner fit for who you are created to be.






